


do it how i want it

by streimel



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: Light Bondage, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Role Reversal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-17
Updated: 2015-08-17
Packaged: 2018-04-15 03:36:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4591476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/streimel/pseuds/streimel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sungjong has a request, and Howon tries his best to make it all work out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	do it how i want it

**Author's Note:**

> title from The Weeknd's "Often"

One part of being as intimate as they are is knowing exactly when Sungjong has something up his sleeve. Still unskilled in the art of hiding his heart away, Howon sees the gears turning behind his eyes days before he finally manages to work up the courage to say it.

"I want you to make me cum," Sungjong says off-handedly as they walk back from picking up drinks at the cafe down on the corner, and Howon unconsciously peeks over his shoulder, years of idolhood still making his skin crawl under uncertain conditions. He doesn't say anything until they hop into the elevator, and even then, he doesn't press the button for Sungjong's floor. Sungjong raises an eyebrow in question, and he quietly says "let's discuss this in my room", an extra precaution just because.

Sunggyu barely notices them when they walk through the living room, nod of his head as much greeting as they'll get when he's busy arguing with Jungyeop on the phone (Howon knows it's Jungyeop, because he knows the way Sunggyu says "hyung" in that special, frustrated way, and as he closes the door, he hears an irritated "okay, but we'll never make it to Yeouido with time to get ready if we're leaving Busan at 4. Ask them to push it back an hour!"). Howon used to wonder if Sunggyu questioned what he and Sungjong are always doing together behind closed doors, but at this point, he's vaguely sure that Sunggyu, as well as the rest of them, know and don't care.

Still, when Howon closes the door behind them, he turns the lock as the knob twists to hide the sound of its click, and Sungjong settles himself on his desk chair, one leg crossed over the other as if preparing himself for the long, drawn-out discussion this might turn into. Howon can't help but feel his mouth go dry, suddenly concerned if this is a problem that's been growing between them somehow unnoticed by him.

"Do I...not- I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that I haven't been, uhm, fulfilling-"

"No, no," Sungjong dismisses with a wave and scrunched face. "That's not an issue. Not at all. I'm talking about something else altogether."

Howon feels at least a bit of relief, apparently thorough enough to please Sungjong (not an easy task, in itself), and he sinks back on his elbows on the bed, waiting for Sungjong to get out what he wants to say.

"I've been watching...some things lately, and I was kind of interested in, well-" Sungjong cuts off without a sound, as if his mind can't form the words he wants to say, and Howon bites into his cheek to keep from smiling (and potentially invoking Sungjong's wrath in this poignant moment.) Not to say their relationship is boring, but neither of them have ever spoken up beforehand on switching things up - in any case, it's alway been a little spur of the moment. They've never discussed what they would want to do, and besides the obvious part where Sungjong told Howon he would be in control of him every now and then, Howon realizes Sungjong's trying for the very first time in his life. Lee Sungjong has a fantasy, and he doesn't know how to bring it up.

"Go on."

Sungjong hits a sudden streak of shyness, looking anywhere but his face, and he mumbles something to the ceiling with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Sorry, didn't catch that."

"I said," Sungjong says again, a little too loudly and quickly this time, "I want you to make me cum, just by fucking me."

"Oh."

"Oh? That's it? Oh?" Sungjong's indignant face is adorable and hilarious, and Howon barely manages to cover a laugh with a cough.

"We can do that. I mean, we can certainly try."

"Well, right, there's no guarantee it could happen apparently, some people do and some don't..."

Sungjong looks slightly embarrassed, and Howon is really putting in effort to not show how endearingly charming he finds it. "Whatever you want, Sungjong...whenever you want it, I'll always be willing to do it for you. Okay?"

"Whenever?"

* * *

And that's how Sungjong ends up face down, ass up on Howon's bed, jeans and boxers pushed down to his knees and Howon's fingers dug into his hipbones.

Howon does his best to find the spot and stay there, punctuated snaps of his hips bringing him there again and again, and he's surprised when Sungjong starts showing all his pre-orgasm signs in mere minutes, back arched high, his name gasped out of clenched teeth in a steady stream, the tightening of his body that makes Howon almost lose it himself.

When he rolls Sungjong over, he's shot out but not pleased, and Howon doesn't know how to ask, if he should even ask to begin with.

"So...?"

"I couldn't- I needed it so badly. Right then."

Sungjong's fist is sticky with his cum, softening dick blotched red from forced strokes, and Howon nods in understanding, pulling Sungjong closer into the circle of his arms without comment. They both knew it wasn't a given it would just happen, and Howon knows Sungjong was just too on-edge for it tonight. He doesn't worry about it, and he hopes Sungjong won't either.

* * *

The second time they try, it's been an overly long day, and Howon can tell Sungjong is mentally there but physically gone as he sinks down on his dick, eyes closed off to the world. Sungjong's hands are like vices on Howon's wrists, pressing them into the mattress if only to keep himself stable, and they go on and on and on, Sungjong's brows knitting as he chases a point that keeps eluding him.

Howon can taste Sungjong's frustration without even looking at his hunched body or drawn lips, and he knows, as does Sungjong, that it's not going to happen right now, but Sungjong is stubborn, too stubborn, and he keeps sinking himself down, past the point of exhaustion until his thighs quiver against Howon's.

Surprise works in Howon's favor when he flips his hands, grabbing Sungjong's wrists and propelling Sungjong back into the bed, Sungjong's arms pinned above his head. Howon's tired as ever, but Sungjong's too deep into his frustration to be able to finish off with something soft or gentle, so he slides his knees under Sungjong's ass, propping him up against his thighs and testing the limits of how far Sungjong can be pushed before he screams. Eyes finally open, Sungjong looks angry and turned on as hell, and he wraps his legs around Howon, pulling him deeper as best he can without the ability to use his hands.

Howon's hand can't stay away from Sungjong's cock, not when it's there bouncing against Sungjong's stomach, stiff and tipped with a bead of pre-cum, and Howon squeezes a tight circle of his thumb and index finger just under the head, watching it throb in response, making Sungjong buck up into it, seeking out more. It doesn't matter about abstract goals anymore; what matters is the taste of Sungjong's sweat on his tongue, the sound of Sungjong's whine when he twists his wrist at the base of Sungjong's dick before rushing back to the head of him.

The afterglow is heavy upon them, an extended period of silence (excluding their strained efforts to begin breathing normally again), until Howon finally manages to say "god damn", and Sungjong laughs a throaty, deep laugh in response.

"We should do that more often."

"We  _will_  do that more often."

Howon doesn't bring it up, because Sungjong doesn't either. Neither of them are unpleased, and now Howon has an even better understanding of how the circumstances should be set before going into trying this for a third time. Sungjong sinks heavy into the mattress in exhaustion, but Howon's mind turns in circles, wondering and calculating long after Sungjong rolls into his side, one arm thrown over him in relaxed sleep.

* * *

Howon gets back from the gym late, throwing his duffel bag in the direction of the washing machine and hoping it doesn't start smelling by the time he'll finally work up the effort to getting around to doing it. He takes a detour through the kitchen, opening the fridge and staring blankly into it without seeing what's inside; it's late, past midnight now, but he's wide awake, without any obligations tomorrow to force himself into doing something reasonable, like just going to sleep. He could text Sungjong maybe, see what he's up to, and he thinks that's just what he'll do after he takes a shower.

He only means to stop by his room to pick up the towel he's left on the floor from yesterday; he doesn't suspect to find his bed curiously inhabited. Not that it's the most uncommon thing for Sungjong to be lounging on his bed in his absence, but somehow it's like Sungjong knew he would be needed. Or perhaps, in this case, he himself is the one who's needed tonight.

Sungjong's just plain not good at hiding his emotions; Howon can read the desperation in the lines on Sungjong's body in a heartbeat, in the way he sits up a little too fast and how his eyes return to where Howon knows sweat has pinned his shirt to his chest. Howon doesn't offering any sort of greeting, simply asking "shower?" without preamble, and Sungjong gets up without a word to follow him out.

It doesn't boil over just like that. Sungjong helps him lift the shirt over his head and he undoes the button on Sungjong's pants, but he doesn't shove Sungjong up into the wall, and Sungjong doesn't grab his face and pull him in. They get into the shower without so much as touching each other, and even then, Howon simply tilts Sungjong's head back into the waterfall, massing a heap of shampoo on the top of his head and working it in with one hand.

Sungjong's hands are on his waist, mostly to keep steady, but that's the extent of their intimacy for the moment. They're both hard, Sungjong nearly painfully so, but Howon's mind is working around in circles, wondering if he can make this work, and he's not yet quite ready to dive into Lee Sungjong and everything that he is.

Howon lets Sungjong circle arms around him, with the pretense of soaping down his back, but he knows Sungjong is edging closer to his limit, wanting something to start with an increasing longing. Sungjong moves all around him, wrapping him up, and Howon leans into him, chasing a bead of water down Sungjong's chest with his tongue. He licks a path down to one nipple, catching the water there before sucking it into his mouth, and Sungjong's fingers slide across his back in the wet, searching for something to hold on to.

Howon takes an inordinate amount of time, first with one nipple and then the other, and he pushes Sungjong back into the tile of the shower stall, one hand sliding down to cup between Sungjong's legs. It's all leisurely, the pace he sets as he rolls the weight of Sungjong in his hand, the unhurried way in which he slides his hand down Sungjong's cock, meaning to sustain, not alleviate. Somehow, he's got to get Sungjong out of this shower and somewhere comfortable enough to make this work.

Which ends up with Sungjong on all fours on the floor of the bathroom, a makeshift bed of towels and leftover clothing the only thing separating them from cold tile. Howon nudges Sungjong's legs a little farther apart, making the towels slide underneath him, but he doesn't move to touch him, and he sees Sungjong peek under his arm, looking for him.

"What-" Sungjong starts, but he slides one hand down Sungjong's spine, fingers spreading over the dimples in his lower back, and Sungjong's words melt into a deep, throaty hum as he presses his head into the floor. Howon's hand slides around his ass, fingernails just digging in, and he slaps it once, quickly, making Sungjong half-laugh, half-gasp in response. His hand keeps going, traveling the outside of one thigh and back up the inside, and Sungjong keeps making all these little jerks, obviously getting impatient.

Howon removes his hand altogether just as he reaches the joint of thigh and ass, and Sungjong groans in apparent frustration. There's an ominous "Howon", mostly threat but with a hint of question, and Howon leans in, digging his teeth into the flesh of Sungjong's ass without warning.

"What the fu-  _ohmygod_ ," Sungjong jumps, first from the bite and then Howon's hands pulling him apart to run his tongue around him, and Howon's almost sure he hears an audible thunk as Sungjong's forehead hits the floor. His tongue keeps searching, edging, all while his hand holds Sungjong's dick taut against his stomach, palm rubbing at the head, and he knows Sungjong's bitten down on a towel, just from the way the sounds are coming out muffled around the cotton.

Howon's fingers leave off massaging Sungjong's balls to slide up, trailing spit between his fingers; he's really getting into this, feeling the vibrations of energy running through Sungjong's body and feeding off that, but it all freezes when he realizes everything he planned for is still in his room, the actual goal he had set for them. Faced with the choice of going and getting or dragging a naked, aroused, wet Sungjong down the hall, he rolls himself up off the floor, hurdling over Sungjong and throwing a mere "stay there" over his shoulder.

It takes longer than he expects to find all the stuff he needs, digging through tucked-away boxes and in the cluttered corners of his dresser, and he half-expects Sungjong dressed and gone by the time he gets back. Instead, Sungjong's still on his hands and knees, body a little closer to the ground as if sinking into submission. Sungjong sends him a look, pitiful instead of angry, and he does good not to smile.

" _Howon_ ," Sungjong practically whines, and Howon has to take a deep breath against the neediness he hears. Sungjong _does not_  beg; the sound sinks like lead in Howon's stomach. Somehow, it gets to him on a level, that someone so beautiful and rare needs him, and he drops down to the floor, crawling to meet him on level ground.

"Sorry, ran into hyung in the hall. That was weird-"

"What?" Howon's never seen Sungjong react so quickly as he practically falls back on to his ass in his haste to sit up, and Howon uses the distraction to pull Sungjong closer, picking up his legs and dragging him in.

"Kidding. Dongwoo's asleep. Hyung is - who knows?"

Sungjong gives him an aggravated look, and Howon smiles a little as he leans over him, backs of his fingers drawing up Sungjong's arms to stretch them out until they're above his head. Howon settles between Sungjong's thighs, dick sliding against Sungjong's until Sungjong apparently forgets his grievances, and he twists Sungjong's wrists together, ribbon sliding quick against his skin.

"Did you really tie me up?" Sungjong asks, head thrown back to look at the knot around his wrists, and he seems almost bemused at the idea. Sungjong's tied up Howon on the spur of the moment, sometimes to please and sometimes to punish, but Howon's never really taken the upper hand, and he's honestly not sure if that's going to help or hinder him.

"I did. Do you trust me? Do you want this?"

Sungjong freezes for a moment, as if taken aback by Howon's sudden sincerity in juxtaposition to his dominance, and Sungjong sucks on his bottom lip for a moment before nodding in response. For good measure, Howon pulls the long loose end of the ribbon around the rail on the bathtub, tight enough to be taut but with enough length Sungjong's arms aren't suspended in the air. Sungjong tests the limit immediately, trying to pull down, and it sinks in he's going to remain like this.

"You weren't kidding..." Sungjong says in disbelief, but instead of replying, Howon bites perhaps a little too harshly at one nipple, and Sungjong jerks, hands flying up as far as the ribbon allows, probably searching to yank on Howon's hair as per his usual method of retaliation.

"Oh, you bastard-" Sungjong spits out, but Howon knows he's more turned on than anything, and ignores Sungjong completely. Sungjong makes an odd sort of huff, with an undercurrent of what Howon thinks might be outraged or shocked laughter, and from the corner of his eye he can see Sungjong staring at him like he's a new person. And that's why he's doing it - Sungjong's so thrown off by this, by him taking control, by him being withholding. The novelty has gone straight to Sungjong's dick, if the swollen, purple-red head of his is any giveaway, or the heaving breaths, or the impatient yanks at the ribbon. Sungjong doesn't know what's coming, and it's driving him crazy in the best possible way.

Howon debates drawing him out more, taking Sungjong's cock into his mouth before fucking him, or at least jacking him off, but Sungjong was specific in this fantasy, and he figures if it's not going to work out this time either he'll take his time and do what it takes to get Sungjong off anyways. But for now, he makes an exaggerated show of slicking up his fingers, and he's actually afraid Sungjong might very well be able to rip the ribbon by sheer force of will when he slides in two fingers.

Howon doesn't fuck around; he searches out the spot he needed to find, getting an idea of where he'll need to aim to make Sungjong cum, and he brushes against it experimentally with the pads of his two fingers, watching Sungjong fall apart in response. Sungjong's always been sensitive to this, but they've never explored it really, and Howon explores a little, feeling the boundaries just so he's sure. He does it again, pressing harder, and Sungjong arches off the floor, ribbon strained between his wrists and the railing. Howon adds a third finger, just to make it easier for Sungjong, and then he's pouring on enough liquid to make it smooth and-

Sungjong cries out a choked sob when he slides right into the spot, and he leans over him, pace set immediately without mercy. Howon knows Sungjong isn't going to cum from him just hitting the same spot for fifteen minutes straight, so he puts his hands on either side of Sungjong, leaning down all while his hips keep moving in a way that Sungjong once said must be ingrained from all that time practicing for his "O" performance. Sungjong doesn't open his eyes when Howon lips move across his face to his neck, but Howon knows Sungjong's straining for what comes next.

Fueled by a confidant brave streak he would never be able to recreate outside of this moment, Howon nuzzles into Sungjong's ear, trying his best to sound controlled despite the overwhelming desire to go off within him. He doesn't even know what he says, things he won't remember in an hour, things that probably don't even make sense, but it's a one-sided conversation; he tells Sungjong how good he feels, how he's going to fuck him until he cums all over himself. Sungjong's not one to be so easily taken apart by just words, but everything's upside down tonight anyways, and Sungjong's completely gone, giving him back just the heaving of his chest, the wild look when he opens his eyes and the way his tongue dashes across dry lips before sucking the bottom lip into his mouth.

Howon sits back on his heels, hands sliding along the inside of Sungjong's thighs until he reaches the creases behind Sungjong's knees. He pushes back until Sungjong's nearly bent in half, spread wide open for his steady strokes, and Howon's fingers bite into the muscles of Sungjong's thighs, if only to refrain from the urge to wrap themselves around Sungjong's dick, stiff and neglected between them.

"God, Sungjong, it's so fucking hot- watching you take me. Watching how good you take me, fuck Sungjong."

Howon keeps an eye on Sungjong, not missing the flush that spreads across his chest and the way his muscles cord as he continues to strain against the ribbon when Howon hits that spot in just the right way. Sungjong is wild, eyes unfocused as he stares at the ceiling, and Howon snaps his hips with force, making them roll back into Sungjong's head with a flutter.

"Touch me."

The way it's said is so desperate and needy Howon barely even comprehends this is Sungjong who's begging, but his tongue rolls out a firm "no" without hesitation. Sungjong's eyes snap open, mouth ajar in surprise, but Howon doesn't relent, angling his hips to rub his cockhead inside Sungjong, drawing back in an instant and sinking back in slowly, Sungjong's eyes never leaving his.

"I'll touch you when I decide you need it. You're not there yet."

The sound Sungjong makes is animalistic, a protest that dissolves into a plea, but Howon doesn't give in. He's too busy syncopating his rhythm to the muscle contractions of Sungjong's stomach, the way Sungjong's legs quiver in his hands, feeling Sungjong pulse around him. He doesn't know what to expect, but something's different, and he nearly lets go when Sungjong clenches unexpectedly around him.

"Ho- I don't- Howon! I can't I can't I can't-" Sungjong's body is like a bow arched to shoot, and Howon watches the cum leak out of him, entranced by the neverending undulations of Sungjong's body in response. He keeps going, encouraged by Sungjong's calls to him, and it's happening again a minute later, more fluid collecting on Sungjong's skin. It's not as much as a usual orgasm, Sungjong still as hard as before, and after the third time, Howon reaches up with one hand, ripping apart the knot of the ribbon before tangling one hand in Sungjong's hair to get his attention.

"You're so good, Sungjong, so good. I'm going to really fuck you now. I'm going to make you cum again, okay? Is that what you want? Do you want me to touch you?"

Sungjong whimpers a yes between clenched teeth, so beautiful and needy and wanted, and Howon loses any remaining control, wrapping a tight fist around Sungjong's dick and setting a merciless pace matched by his hips. He can barely see, blinded by a white-hot need to seek fulfillment for himself and Sungjong, and his lips seek out Sungjong's blindly, sucking Sungjong's tongue into his mouth. It's all so carnal, human instinct taking over to finish, and he barely remembers to feel anything until Sungjong's nails bite into the skin of his shoulders a second before he cries out, and he feels Sungjong's cock swell in his hand, cum sliding down over his fist.

Howon's not sure what sends him over the edge; maybe the way Sungjong bites down into his collarbone, or the feeling of Sungjong clenching around him, drawing him in again and again even while Sungjong's hands pulled his hips closer, but it's absolutely mind-blowing, an explosion behind his eyes that takes away his ability to breathe, let alone think, and he doesn't even care when he collapses into Sungjong, Sungjong's cum-sticky skin adhering to his own.

"God in Heaven..." Sungjong says after an eternity, and they both laugh, chests moving against each other in their laughter.

"You know, I never believed in God, but after that, I'm pretty sure you've changed my mind."

"Me? You were the one working miracles. What did I do?"

"Trust me, if you could have seen you from my perspective, you'd understand."

Sungjong seems to think about this for a while, and Howon rests his head over Sungjong's heart, hearing the still quickened beats like a drum cadence to his ears. Howon's not sure he'll ever be able to get up again, and luckily Sungjong makes no effort to have him move either.

"You know, I wasn't sure if-," Sungjong starts before thinking the better of it, and Howon props his chin up on Sungjong's chest, waiting for him to speak his mind. Sungjong knows well enough that Howon won't push, but it's almost impossible to not feel the urge to say something when Howon looks at him like that, and he sighs heavily, watching Howon's head rise and fall as he breathes.

"I just- thank you, I guess? For sticking through with this, and just, uhm, everything in general." It's hard to find the words to describe what he wants to say, and Howon just tilts his head as if confused.

"You don't have to thank me for having sex with you," Howon deadpans, and Sungjong frowns.

"Of course that's not what I'm saying, I'm just grateful, you know, I don't know...for you being accepting of what I wanted and-"

"You also don't have to say thank you for that, either. Don't overthink it."

"Okay, fine. Whatever."

Howon recognizes immediately that Sungjong is upset, and he refrains from rolling his eyes, exasperated by Sungjong's sudden formality over something anything but formal. Sungjong still doesn't move to to get him off, but there's a undercurrent of sudden tenseness in his body, one that hasn't been present all night.

"You don't have to thank me. I love you, and I'd do anything for you. I hope you know that."

Sungjong looks like he's holding back a smile, but settles on rolling his eyes before rubbing them in probable exasperation. "Oh. Anything?"

"I'm not going to kill Woohyun, Sungjong. Anything  _besides_  that."

"You suck." Sungjong sounds sincere, and Howon rubs his face into Sungjong's chest with a laugh, totally clueless with what to do with this kid.

"I'll take that as you love me too, then."

Sungjong threads fingers through Howon's hair, ruffling it affectionately for a long minute before speaking again. "I do. I really do."

**Author's Note:**

> I suppose this could also be tagged light BDSM - anyway, I know very little about it so ???
> 
> I don't know how I feel about writing kink


End file.
